Zero In Wonderland
by cloudykitty6
Summary: Zero is tired so he decides to take a nap..but he wakes up in a field full of daisies!! Guess who he sees running by as the white rabbit? Read to find out!! Many characters included in this parody! My first!! ^___^!!!
1. Where Am I?

Zero In Wonderland Ch. 1- Where am I?   
(MK version of Alice in Wonderland)  
By- mo_mo  
Disclaimer- These characters do not belong to me!! THEY DON'T AND THEY NEVER WILL!! They belong to Yukiru Sugisaki and other people who ACTUALLY own them. This is based (not completely, disney version) on the tale of Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carrol.  
  
Training had been hard on Zero that day..he got scolded by Azuma (again) for being late, got in a fight with Hiead, and got yelled at by Kizna..At times like this Zero wished that he could just relax..he went into his room..nobody there yet. He plopped in his bed and went to sleep...He drifted off in his sleep far far away...into the crazy place of Wonderland...  
  
Zero woke up in a field of daisies..they all smelled very nice.."Where am I?" he wondered. He got up and rubbed his eyes and looked at the lovely flower field..why it was so nice he could gaze at it all day long.. Wait! He can't be distracted, he must find the way back to the GOA! For that was not where he was..but which way to go.. Zero was lost... "Aw Crap! NOW how am I gonna get back? I don't know where I am, and there's nobody here to ask!!" Zero groaned.. He plopped back into the daisies.. Then he heard a rather familiar voice...  
"Oh Man I'm late..I'm late I'm late..Oh dear so very late!!" he heard the voice..as it got nearer and nearer. Zero knew that voice anywhere!! He immediantly got up.  
"Hey Clay!! Over here!!." Zero yelled waving his arms..but his jaw dropped as he saw Clay not in the GOA uniform but in a nice vest with a coat..and a humongous pocket watch in his hands..the thing he noticed most of all was that large bunny ears were poking out of the top of his head, with a tail from behind as well..  
"Hi! Sorry No time to talk right now bye!!" Clay said as he waved to him like he didn't know Zero at all. Clay hopped away with his big bunny feet, still saying "Oh dear..I'm late So late..."   
"Wait!!!" Zero yelled as he followed Clay to where ever he was going. He ran behind Clay and kept up with him "Waiit!! I need HEEELP!!!!" Zero called to him..but then he saw Clay jump down a rabbit hole. And Zero looked hesitated but jumped down anyway. He fell really slowly and saw strange things..little toy models of the goddesses floating in the air...Hmmm..how strange..When he fell at last he saw Clay go through a door.."Aha! Now I got you Clay!" He thought to himself as he opened the door, but found another,and another, and another, untill it was a very very small door, as he grabbed the doorknob..it talked!!  
"OOWW!!!!" Yelled another voice.. Zero looked down and saw Rio's head as the doorknob!!  
'Rio!?" Zero exclaimed. Rio's face looked puzzled.  
"Rio? Who is that? I'm just a doorknob" Rio replied. Zero rolled his eyes, something wrong was happening here. "OK....Can you Uh Open up.." Zero asked he was starting to get very very disturbed staring at Rio's head like a doorknob.  
"Well obviously no.." Rio answered looking up "For your to big to fit in here..Duh.." Rio said. Zero looked annoyed, surely Clay must be half-way ahead of him now. "Try the bottle up there," Rio pointed with his eyes. All of a sudden, a table appeared with a bottle on top. Zero picked up the bottle and looked at it, strange no label on it at all..except a tag that said 'Drink Me'   
"..I guess," Zero drank the bottle and then he shrank and shrank and shrank untill he was the perfect size for to fit to the door. "Thanks Rio, Now can you open up?," Zero asked..  
"I would...but I forgot to tell you something.." Rio told him with a chuckle.. "I'M LOCKED," Zero frowned and stamped his foot.  
"Then WHERE is THE freakin' Key!!??" He yelled at Rio and pinched his nose.  
"Owie Owie..OK!! OK!! Its up there!" he pointed with his eyes again at the table. A key appeared on it. Zero tried to climb it for he was much smaller then the table.. but he slid off.   
"Damn it! Now what!?" he sat down and frowned. Rio tilted his head.  
"You know you can just try the box" he said pointing with his eyes downward. Zero looked down and at his feet was a small blue box. Zero opened it and inside were cookies all which said in icing "Eat Me" Zero took it and ate it. He grew and grew and grew untill his head was at the ceiling. "Ooookay.."he picked up the key and stared at it.   
"Yes I know, Its called a key you giant oaf" Rio taunted. Zero, all of a sudden had an urge to cry. "Ahhh..your so mean waaaaaaaaahhh!!!!!" Zero sobbed giant tears. Rio's eyes grew large as large puddles started to rise.   
"Hey,Hey cut off the water works already" Rio said shakily as the pool of tears went into a lake. Zero sobbed and sobbed, but in the inside he wondered why. "Stop it! The bottle!! Drink the bottle" Rio frantically yelled as the tears started to reach his nose, then he was forced to swallow it. Zero drank the bottle again and shrunk. He fell into the bottle and watched in the safety of it as Rio swallowed Zero's own tears. He just realised that the bottle (with him in it) was in an ocean now.   
"Am I in Rio?" Zero asked himself. He sat there for awhile thinking about what to do, and where are they, and how much ahead Clay is of him. His thoughts were interrupted again by another strange sight. It was another Goddess Pilot!! Pilot of Tellia-Kallisto himself Yu Hikura!..In a Dodo suit? Also why is he sitting on another Pilot Candidate dressed as a pelican?; and why was another candidate dressed in another bird suit pushing Yu's bum? Is that his idea of a boat..  
"Land ahoy.." Yu said quietly pointing to land. Zero had his hopes up, he put himself up from the bottle and started to paddle in the direction that Yu had pointed at. He soon caught sight of the land, at last!!.  
"Woo Hoo!!" Zero cheered as he paddled faster. Though he did not realise that a humoungous wave was behind him. The wave did hit him and it hit him hard too.  
  
~To be continued~   
  
Whew...I know I know it might not be what REALLY happened in the movie but give me a break will ya!? Yeesh ..  
  
Next chapter- Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum?..Oh no.... 


	2. Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum? Oh no

Zero In Wonderland- Ch.2 -Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum?...Oh No..  
(MK version of Alice in Wonderland)  
Disclaimer- all characters mentioned here are NOT MINE!!! They belong to Yukiru Sugisaki and other people who actually own them!! (Which am of course not I) Alice in Wonderland is not mine either, it's a real fantasy novel written by Lewis Caroll.  
  
After (finally) landing on the beach, Zero's head got stepped on by a foot. "Ow!" He yelled but then another foot landed on him. Zero was then able to see that more candidates, all in ridiculous animal costumes, were trampling him. The candidates ran around and around a rock with Yu on it. Yu had started a small fire on the rock and was tending to it, silently. Zero got up and ran in circles with them for he was getting tired of being trampled. "Hey Yu, why are we running in circles?" Zero asked as he ran around and around. Yu turned to him looking annoyed.   
"Drying ourselves, its the best way to do it," Yu answered and started to warm his hands, then his bum. "Besides, it's one of the rules of the Caucus Race." He added.   
"Oookaay...." Zero wondered if they ever heard of something in life called a towel. So he ran with them for a few minutes, but then saw Clay again! As another wave crashed on them (and the running troup but no one seemed to notice) he saw Clay arrive in an umbrella from the water. "There he is!! Hey Clay!!!" Zero yelled. He ran from his spot as Clay got up, closed his umbrella, and looked at his large pocket-watch.  
"AAh!! I'm Late!!! Ah!! Late Late Late!!! So late!!" Clay started going into a panic and hopped away. Zero was determined not to lose him THIS time!   
"Wait Clay Wait for MEEEE!!!!!" Zero called, but just as before, Clay ignored him and continued hopping on his way. Eventually Zero did lose Clay..again and THIS time it was in a forest clearing.   
"Damnit how can he go that fast!!??" Zero had to catch his breath. "OK Zero..calm down.." Zero told himself. "Now if I was a rabbit and in a hurry where would I go?" he wondered and looked around..maybe he was going home and was going to miss dinner...Nah that can't be it..Clay wouldn't be in a hurry for that..or would he? While Zero looked in the bushes and trees, he did not notice the two flags sticking out of one bush," Not here," he murmered after searching another bush. The two figures started to follow Zero. Even when he went under the log, the figures ran on the log then stood at the side that Zero came out on. When Zero came out he then saw two pairs of shoes (That were on the figures of course) then thier clothes and at thier collars, one person's tag read 'Twiddle Dee' and another said 'Twiddle Dum' Zero looked a little further up and saw that the two strangers were his own classmates.   
"OH GOOD GOD!! YAMAGI!!?? ROOSE!!??" Zero exclaimed. Yes, Roose and Yamagi were standing there dressed as Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum. (If you see the movie you know what I mean..but they are not fat...) Zero stood there gawking at thier strange outfits. They stood there for quite awhile untill Yamagi was the first to speak.   
"If you think we're wax works you ought to pay you know, Nohow!," Yamagi said quickly.  
"Contrariwise, and if you think we're alive you ought to speak!" Roose added. Zero was scared its like everyone has amnesia and forgot thier own names and took the roles of crazy people/animals/things. "I am Twiddle Dee," Roose said with a smile.   
"And I am Twiddle Dum," said Yamagi, they both bowed politely. Zero was very disturbed at this for his classmates never bowed to him before.   
"Uh..yeah nice to meet you, now if you excuse me I have someone to follow now," Zero said as he tried to leave but Yamagi and Roose got in his way.   
"You can't leave now," Roose said and Yamagi nodded.  
"Lets play games!" Yamagi cheered as they tried to grab Zero put Zero pulled his arm away.   
"I can't, I have to find out where Clay is going, and why he isn't helping me!" Zero yelled.   
"Why?" Yamagi and Roose asked at the same time.   
"Because I'm curious" Zero said to them firmly. "Now if you just leave me alone, I have to go now thank you." Yamagi shook his head and whispered to Roose.  
"Ooh Twiddle Dee, He's curious.." Yamagi whispered with a grin.   
"Aye, just like those oysters" Roose replied.   
"Poor things" they both sniffed and shook their heads in sadness.  
"Oysters??" Zero asked. "What oysters???" Roose and Yamagi took off their hats and they both started spinning the hats with their index fingers while saying,  
"Oh no no no, you wouldn't want to hear it"   
"But I do" Zero said, "Maybe I can stay for a minute...." Yamagi and Roose's eyes grew huge.   
"You CAN!?" At that moment they both pushed Zero and plopped him down on a log.   
"The Walrus and the Carpenter," Yamagi began. Roose continued  
"The sun was shining on the sea, shining with all his might-"  
Yamagi picked up the rhyme "He did his very best to make the billows smooth and bright-"   
"and this was odd because it was the middle of the night" Roose said. They proceeded each taking turn telling a rhyme about a Walrus and a Carpenter who tricked the oysters and ate them all. Zero was listening halfway but at the part when they were talking about the oysters, the Walrus and the Carpenter all walking along the beach, Zero figured that this was just another bunch of nonsense that won't help him. After their tale ended they both smiled and asked at the same time "How did you like it?"   
"Uh..Yeah it was cool..bye" Zero stuttered.   
"You can't go now! We have another tale to tell!" Roose said instantly. So they plopped him down again and started reciting the rhyme 'You Are Old Father William' but Zero couldn't stand it anymore so he got up and left while they weren't looking. He walked kind of quickly because he was worried that Roose and Yamagi were going to go after him, but luckily they didn't. Instead he heard Yamagi shout in an angry voice.  
"MY NICE NEW RATTLE!!!!!!!!!" His angry scream rage echoed throughout the forest. Zero did not want to know.  
"Whew, man what's wrong with everyone here?" Zero sighed. He stopped to take a breath. Zero looked up and realized he was by a house, it looked pretty cozy in there, but as much as he wanted to go in, he figured that he might as well not because everyone was crazy here. He was going to pass the house but then he heard the same familiar voice.   
"Where is she? Oh dear I am going to be terribly late!" Clay muttered to himself. He was tapping his foot impatiently by his mailbox.   
"CLAY!!" OVER HERE!!" Zero yelled as he ran up to him. Clay finally noticed him but his face changed from impatient to angry.   
"MARY ANN! What are you doing!!??" Clay yelled at him angrily. Zero turned around to see whom he was talking to but found no one.   
"Are you talking to me??" Zero asked. Clay turned even angrier.   
"Yes I am! Mary Ann, are you deaf!? Now get in there and get my gloves!!"  
  
~To be continued~  
  
Next chapter- The House of the White Rabbit..or Clay 


	3. The House Of the White Rabbit Or Clay

Zero In Wonderland-Ch. 3- The House White Rabbit..or Clay  
(MK version of Alice in Wonderland)   
Disclaimer- All characters mentioned here ARE NOT MINE!!!! They belong Yukiru Sugisaki and the others that own Megami Kohousei. Alice in Wonderland is not mine either, it is a fantasy novel written by Lewis Caroll.   
  
Since Zero didn't move, Clay actually PICKED UP Zero and carried him all the way to the front door, and tossed him in. "Hurry up Mary Ann and get my gloves!!" Clay yelled after him when he got up.   
"Man, since when did Clay get so strong?" Zero muttered. No matter, he might as well look for the gloves. He looked all around the house; everything seemed to have bunny ears. As he went up the stairs he looked at pictures of people, all with bunny ears. "Weird.." He murmured as he continued up to the bedroom. He entered, and it was just as he expected, all the furniture with bunny ears inside as well. "Now where can I find those gloves?" Zero wondered, then he noticed a blue box on the floor, when he opened it, they were cookies with the words 'EAT ME' in icing. "I might as well, I am hungry and I am doing work for that Clay guy," Zero said to himself. So he took the cookie and ate the whole thing. "Mmm.. Well might as well start looking," Zero licked his lips with satisfaction and then started with the drawers. Then he realized that he seemed to be growing bigger.  
"On no..not again.." He moaned as his head bumped the ceiling. He grew SOOOO big that he had to put his arms outside the windows and his legs were scrunched up at the downstairs of the house. Clay was starting to lose his patience even more.   
"Mary Ann, hurry up with my- AAAAAAAAIIIIEEEE!!!!!!!" Clay screamed as he opened the front door and Zero's shoe nearly smashed him. Zero was not feeling at all very comfortable.   
"This..is..not...Cool!" Zero moaned as he tried to move in a more comfortable position. "Ugh this is hard" he sighed. Clay's eyes were big and his face was pale.   
"MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!" Clay screamed and he ran off to call help. Zero moved like this and that, but no matter how he moved there was at least one part of his body that was hurting.   
"Ow..Now what?" He scratched his head (Actually it was the roof but it didn't matter) A few minutes later he heard the voice of Clay again.   
"There is a giant monster in my house Mr. Dodo sir, I really need help and I'm already late!" Clay panicked. Zero opened the window so he can see who was coming, it was Clay alright, but this time he had Yu with him.   
"Yes, Yes Mr. Rabbit.." Yu mumbled, but when he looked up and took a look at the house, his eyes widened. "Yup that's a monster alright, and a big one at that," He examined one of his shoes which were bursting from the house. "I have a simple solution" he said after careful observation. "We just need to get the monster out from the chimney!"  
"Then you go ahead and do that, and please be quick!" Clay replied.  
"Oh its not ME going down a chimney" Yu answered back "All we need is a-" he looked up because he heard someone coming down the road. Azuma, the instructor was walking down the road whistling merrily. He was dressed in black, carrying the tools of a chimney sweep, but there was a lizard tale sticking out from his be-hind. "That's it! A lizard with a ladder!" Clay looked relived and called out.   
"Bill! Oh Bill!" Azuma looked up at his name being called out, and went over to the group.   
"What can I do for you?" Azuma asked when he arrived. Yu pulled him closer and asked him.  
"Have you ever been down a chimney before?" Yu asked calmly. Azuma laughed. That was the first time Zero heard Azuma laugh cheerfully.  
"Mr. Dodo, I've been down more chimneys then you can-" Azuma started but Yu cut him off.  
"Thats very good Bill, You're perfect for the job, now just go up there and get the monster out," Yu told him.  
"Alright" Azuma said as he set up the ladder and started to go up, but on his way up he did a double take when he saw Zero's humongous eye in the window. "Monster!!?? AAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!!!!" He screamed like a coward and started to run down the ladder, Yu and Clay however tried to push him back.   
"Come, come now your passing up a golden opprutunity," Yu said, Azuma's face brightened.   
"I am?" Azuma asked eagerly.   
"You can become famous!" Yu exclaimed.   
"I can?" Azuma asked again with stars in his eyes.   
"Yes, now in you go," Yu said as he stuffed Azuma down the chimney. Zero was snickering for it was very humorous for him watch this whole situation. Azuma was going down the chimney, but a puff of smoke inside the house made Zero sneeze causing Azuma to be launched out of the house. He went up up and away, everyone watched.   
"Well, there goes Bill," Yu sadly shook his head.   
"Ha Ha!" Zero laughed from inside the house. Clay turned pale again.  
"What about the monster in my house!?" He asked with fear. Yu thought about it a bit, then another idea went into his head.   
"We'll just have to burn the house down," Yu replied.   
"Yes, Yes but hurry, I- WHAT!!??" Clay shrieked. Yu started to gather various items around the house and started to put them into a HUGE pile by the house. Reluctantly, Clay started to help him pile his belongings.   
"Match?" Yu requested and Clay handed him one, and Yu lit it, now small amounts off smoke started to rise from the junk.   
"Burn the house down? Not While I'm in here!" Zero yelled, but he had to think of how to get himself smaller. "Hmm... I guess I have to eat or drink something..." Hie eye then laid upon a carrot garden. "Perfect!" He said as his gigantic hand pulled out a carrot from the garden, Clay immediantly tried to fight back for it.   
"No! My carrots mine!! HEELP!!!!" Clay screamed again as Zero carried the carrot (with Clay on it) toward himself.   
"I have to eat something Clay!" Zero complained.   
"Well not me- you- you barbarian!!" Clay shouted angrily but too late Zero took one nip of the carrot. Zero started to shrink and he dropped Clay to the ground. After Clay hit the ground, he looked at his watch "EEP!! I'm late!!! I'm late!!" Clay panicked and he ran out the door. Meanwhile Yu was still trying to start a fire outside the house. "I'm sorry, I can't stay, I simply must go, I'm late!!" said Clay quickly as he ran away. Zero by this time was awfully small, so he had to carefully climb down the stairs.  
"Excuse me, do you have a match?" Yu asked as Zero climbed down all the steps.   
"No I don't, I got to go!!" Zero said as he too quickly left to keep up with Clay. Yu was left alone trying to start a fire. Zero ran all he could but it was even harder now since he was really small. He ran and ran , but he had to go through a garden to get to Clay.  
  
~To be continued~   
  
Next chapter- The Garden of...Repairers?? 


	4. The Garden of Repairers?

Zero In Wonderland- Ch.4 The Garden of..Repairers??  
(MK version of 'Alice In Wonderland')  
  
Disclaimer- None of the characters here mentioned in the story are mine! They're not not not not NOT!! Megami Kohousei (Or Candidate For Goddess, or Pilot Candidate whatever) belongs to Yukiru Sugisaki and the others who own the series. Also, Alice In Wonderland does not belong to me either, it is a Fantasy novel written by Lewis Caroll.   
  
Zero ran through the now-way taller-than-him grass. He stopped after a while and sighed. "Now I'm NEVER going to get to Clay this time.." He stopped and saw a weird looking butterfly, whose wings looked like bread with butter. "Thats a weird looking butterfly.." Zero commented.   
"You mean Breadbutterflies," commented a voice. Zero turned around to see whom spoke, but he just saw flowers behind him. Then a small rocking horse with wings flew by Zero as well.  
"A horse fly?..No wait it's a Rocking-Horse Fly.." Zero said again.   
"Of course," said the same voice.   
"What the..AAGH!!! TEELA!!??" Zero screamed. Teela, was there alright but her head was in the center of a Rose, and now she was a lot taller then him too. "Teela!! You're a Rose!!" Zero yelled. Teela looked annoyed. "What did you think I was? A weed??" she asked. Zero looked again all around the flowers now had the heads of different repairers. They were all giggling very loudly.   
"What's wrong? You didn't know that us flowers can talk?" Teela asked again in a mocking tone.   
"We can very much talk!" Phil said cheerfully. She was a daisy.   
"We can sing too!" said Kizna. She, Wrecka, Saki, Tsukasa, Iknhy, and Rome were all pansies in one clump. Zero was speechless.   
"Would you like to hear one?" Tune, who was a lily, asked gently. Now if Zero were himself at the moment, he would have run away as fast as he can but he blurted out something against his will.   
"I would love too," Zero said. He (unwillingly again) took a seat on one of the leaves.   
"Lets sing, 'Tell It To the Tulips,'" said two repairers who were tulips.  
"Oh no not that lets sing about us," said a Sunflower. Zero thought that this was going to take forever. The girls continued to argue about whom to sing about until Teela solved the problem.   
"SILENCE!! All of you!!" Teela screamed. Everyone went silent. "We'll sing 'Golden Afternoon', that's about all of us." Teela added with a wink. Zero was scared, he never saw Teela, the almighty pilot of Ern-Laties herself, wink at a low-rate candidate like Zero. So it started, the girls started to sing. Hwile they did Zero sat and listened intently. Of course at that time he wasn't his real self at the moment, since if he were he would've been gone. Though it was like his bum could not move and he stuck on his seat.   
"What's wrong, why can't I move????" he was trying to struggle. At one point, the Bread butterflies to with took him up to he center. Surprisingly as if he knew all the words to the song he started to sing. As he sung he kept wondering what was wrong. After the song ended Zero (against his will again) started applauding.  
"So what garden do you come from?" Tune asked him again in a pleasant voice.  
"I don't come from any garden." Zero replied.  
"Do you think he's a wild flower!?" Phil asked hurriedly to Kazuhi.  
"What kind of species are you then?" Teela folded her arms impatiently.   
"I guess you can call me a..Zero." Zero answered.   
"Have you ever seen a Zero like that?" Phil commented.   
"Better yet have you ever seen a Zero," Kazuhi added.   
"He has no petals at all" Tune said while looking at his legs. Kazuhi sniffed his hair a little.   
"and no fragrance" Kazuhi said disaprovingly. Phil giggled while poking at his legs.  
"Look at this stem, its scrawney" Phil laughed.   
"I think he's pretty" said Kizna gently. Zero blushed. That was probably the first and only time he will ever hear that from her.   
"Listen, I'm not a flower at all!" Zero yelled. He couldn't believe how stupid these girls were that they couldn't realise he was just a human being, just way smaller. Kazuhi's eyes narrowed suspiciously.   
"AHA! Just as I suspected!" Kazuhi exclaimed. She went over to Teela and whispered something. The other girls heard and their eyes grew huge.   
"OH NO!!" Chorused a group of random repairers.   
"What? Did I say something wrong? WHAT!!??" Zero shouted to get attension.   
"Why, you're nothing but a weed!" Kazuhi accused with a pointing leaf (Hey right now she's a flower OK?)  
"Wha? Whoa, hold it now, just because I said I'm not a flower doesn't make automatically me a weed!!" Zero said angrily. The girls still did not believe him and started to whisper to each other about him, and Zero didn't like this at all.  
"Well, It's not like he will admit it" said a Tulip.   
"Please, don't let him stay here" Phil pushed him into the pansy clump.   
"We don't want weeds in our bed," chorused the pansies, including Kizna, they pushed him out also. The girls started pushing him out and Zero started to run as well.   
"Go! Shoo! Shoo!" Kazuhi said as she pushed him out more.   
"Leave!" Phil added.   
"We don't want you here!" Tune said firmly.   
"Go away!!" said the pansies.  
"Now! OUT! OUT!" Tune yelled savagely as she pushed out to the edge.   
Zero was never shooed away like this so it made him feel sad and angry at the same time.   
"Listen! If I were my right size, I could stomp on all of you!" Zero threatened.  
Two Daffodils then dumped water on him. While he was being washed away he could hear the girl's voices laughing at him.   
"Hmph they should learn some manners!" Zero turned and walked in the opposite direction of the flowers. When he walked on some more he looked up and saw that letters of smoke were floating above the grass. "Weird.." he mumbled to himself.  
  
~To be continued~  
  
Next chapter- A talk with Azuma, the Caterpillar. 


	5. A Talk With Azuma The Caterpillar

Zero In Wonderland Ch. 5- A talk with Azuma,The Caterpillar  
  
Disclaimer- In all of these chapters, I said it before and I WILL say it again, the characters of Megami Kouhosei are NOOOT MIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!! Got that? OK and also the story of Alice In Wonderland is not mine either it is a children's fantasy novel written by Lewiss Caroll..and Oh yeah did I mention that this is mostly based on the disney version of Alice In Wonderland? Yeah that's not mine either.   
  
Zero was curious to where the floating letters were going. "Letters of smoke??? Hmmm....." he thought as he continued closer to where the letters were coming from. When he came there he saw a caterpillar (which is big being that Zero shrunk) with Azuma's head. Zero didn't know whether to address him as his instructor or just plain laugh his head off. So they stood there, Azuma sitting on a mushroom smoking his hookah, and Zero standing with his cheeks red while trying to hold laughter in.   
The silence stopped when Azuma asked "WHO are YOU?" Zero rolled his eyes.   
"Come on, You have to know my name, YOU'RE MY INSTRUCTOR!!" Zero yelled while showing his '88' mark on his wrist.   
"I do NOT See" Azuma replied. Zero remembered that Azuma was also 'Bill' the lizard, but he didn't want to bring THAT up for it might cause even more confusions.   
"If you're not Azuma, then.....Tell me, who are YOU then?" Zero asked him back trying to trick Azuma with his own game.   
"Why?" Azuma asked back. He puffed a puff of smoke in the shape of a 'Y'. Zero stopped.   
"Nevermind" Zero mumbled. "Everything's so weird over here," Zero complained.   
"It is NOT" Azuma replied again.   
Azuma took one another puff and then said "Recite" before Zero said anything else. Zero stood up and again and he said things he never said before as the same force took over him. Zero said....   
'How doth the little busy bee  
improve each shining flower-'  
  
"Stop!" Azuma interrupted as Zero was going to continue to the next verse. "That is not spoken correctly, like this.." This is what Azuma said   
  
'How doth the little crocodile   
improve his shining tail  
and pour the waters of the Nile  
on every golden scale'  
  
'How cheerfully he seems to grin   
how neatly spreads his claws  
and welcomes little fishies in   
with gently smiling jaws'   
  
"So you have a thing for crocodiles?" Zero asked him raising an eyebrow. "If you ask me it sounds like nothing but cra-"   
"YOU?, WHO ARE YOU?" Azuma interrupted. He smoked more letters in Zero's face.  
After coughing a bit, Zero thought to himself "That's it! I'm outta here!" He started to stomp away.   
"Wait! You there! Stop!" The Caterpillar said after he climbed the highest mushroom. Zero turned.  
"I have something important to say!" Azuma called. Zero rolled his eyes but turned and walked back to Azuma.   
"Yeah?" Zero asked when he arrived. Azuma lazily turned his head.   
"Keep your temper," Azuma replied. Zero rolled his eyes again then sighed.   
"Wha? Is that all?" Zero asked impatiently.   
"No" was the answer. As he puffed more smoke he asked Zero "Exactly what is your problem?"   
"Umm I can say one thing I'd like to be a whole lot bigger mister" Zero said a little more politely now more relieved somone would listen to his problems not make more.   
"Why?" he asked again.   
"Well being three inches high really sucks and-" Zero began but that was when Azuma got pissed off himself.   
"I AM EXACTLY THREE INCHES HIGH AND IT IS A VERY GOOD HEIGHT INDEED!!" Azuma raged. He then started to puffout so much smoke that you could not see him anymore since he was in a huge gray cloud.   
"Well you don't need to SHOUT!!" Zero yelled, the cloud went away and the catterpillar costume was all that remained. "Oops, I guess he got touchy about his height," He thought. Hmmm...... "Just like Yamagi...." Zero was mumbling to himself when he heard Azuma's voice calling again, this time from above. Zero looked up and saw that Azuma looked more like his normal self he was in his instructor uniform except that he had antennas and beatiful blue butterfly he was using to fly. Zero almost died from holding the laughter inside, he thought he was going to explode!   
"One side will make you taller-" Azuma began to tell him from above.  
"One side of what?" Zero called back for he did not fully understand.   
"-And the other side will make you shorter!" Azuma continued.  
"The other side of what!?" Zero called again for he did not get it still.   
Azuma getting pissed off again turning red and zooming up close to Zero yelled "THE MUSHROOM OF COURSE!!!" Azuma then flew off. The mushroom?? He looked at what he was sitting on....a mushroom. He pulled out to pieces from the opposite sides. Hmmm "I might as well, but which side is which??......well maybe I can...." He tried to compare two identical pieces together but in the end he sighed and said "I Don't Care...." and with that took a bite out of one side. "I'm frickin tired of being three inches high......Wha WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed as he rapidly grew grew and grew taller then the forest. On his head was a large nest and in it was eggs and Miche with brown bird wings was nested in it. She looked and saw now how high she was and she gasped.   
"A Serpent!!" She flew around Zero's head screaming Serpent over over over and OVER again. Zero protested again.   
"Hold it I'm not a serpent!!" Zero yelled.   
Miche perched on Zero's nose and asked him "Oh yeah then what are you then?" Miche asked Zero while glaring at him, Zero replied that he was "a kid", in reply Miche laughed. "A kid!!?? Last time I remembered kids are supposed to be puny but you sir are not puny," She proclaimed. Zero rolled his eyes once again.   
"I used to be" He answered.  
"I don't suppose you don't eat eggs either?"Miche asked again fluttering her feathers. Zero did not think before he replied obviously.  
"Oh Yeah I love eggs!" Zero smiled and Miche turned pale and yelled   
"Serpent!!! SERPEEEEEEEEEEEENTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!" She then started gathering her eggs grumbling about how much trouble she has to go through while protecting her eggs from serpents, Zero looked at the other piece with no bite marks.   
"And the other side will make me shorter!" Zero concluded remembering what Azuma told him and took a bite out of the other piece. Zero shrunk quickly causing Miche to almost drop her eggs (Thank Kami-Sama she saved everyone one of them.) "Wow..." He murmered as he was back at his small height he thought a little more and licked the piece that would make him bigger making him the perfect size. "There! Thats better...Hmmm....better save these..." He said to himself and he put the two pieces in two pockets and walked on.  
~To be continued~   
  
Wow that took a while....  
  
Next Chapter~ We're All Mad Here....Meeting of the Cheshire Cat 


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